Usually, these types of joke April Fool’s/whatever commemorative newspapers fall flat on their faces for one reason: they’re not very funny. But you can tell the Globe editors had fun with their 250^thCommemorative “July 4, 1776” edition this morning, reporting the “Freshest News Occurrences of this Glorious Day, Humbly Deliver’ed. Or, How the Globe might have looked if it and the Internet existed in 1776 (they did not).” … The best part: the Globe gently poking fun of itself via imaginary soft-news features from 1776 that look suspiciously like shameless click-bait stories you might read in the paper today (or any media site today, for that matter), such as highlighting the local “Patriot Starting Lineup” at the Continental Congress, providing a handy list of where to find “strong drink” on this most Glorious Day, reporting that the “Smallpox inoculation ban’” has been lifted in Boston, hosting a debate over “What’s Faneuil for? Soaring speeches or the sale of trinkets?” Etc. etc. …

One thing missing: a Sports Section, perhaps covering quoits, cards and lacrosse leagues? Maybe next year.

Update — Breaking contemporary news from The Onion: “Joey Chestnut Recalls Being Cut From His High School’s Varsity Hot Dog Eating Team”